First Entry

So, I figured I would start this blog. Maybe it will take me somewhere that I can't normally get to on my own, say things I wouldn't have the courage to say, or at least help me organize my ideas in a logical format. I'm really excited to write this, in fact, I'm really excited for a lot of things nowadays. Its amazing, it really is. I have a girlfriend who I absolutely love.... Even if she gets irritated with me quite frequently! Sometimes I wish I could be the perfect boyfriend for her, the one she wants, that she dreams of. But either way I am still extraordinarily happy!

So we're moving into an apartment soon, I am so unbelievably excited about that! Amy seems really worried, and we had a long talk about that yesterday. I'm worried too, there are a TON of what if's or could happens, but after a while, I realized that if that's all I worry about, I won't enjoy any of it, and frankly, this has been the best time of my life, and its just getting better. I want to enjoy all of it!

I'm really worried about some of my schoolwork, I have a bit of a complex, where if I start doing well, I enjoy it, because I need positive feedback. However, the opposite also applies, if I find something difficult, I want to run away, go back to what is comfortable, familiar, and easy to me. I can do calculus, think at an extremely deep level, logic is comfortable to me, as is English, writing and expressing arguments. Why then, do I find that I hate trying to learn new things, why do I get embarassed when I don't instantly grasp something and find that I not only do acceptable, but excel. Hopefully I can survive, making my way through my business classes.

This seems long enough for the first rant, but I'm sure more will come....

Z